Monday, March 12, 2007

Friday, March 09, 2007

Church Bulletin Board !

Believe it or not, these actually appeared in various church bulletins:

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptised at both ends.

Tuesday at 4PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk, come early.

Wednesday the ladies liturgy society will meet. Mr. Johnson will sing, 'Put Me In My Little Bed,' accompanied by the pastor.

Thursday at 5PM there will be a meeting of the little mothers club. All ladies wishing to be little mothers please meet with the pastor in his study.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an egg at the alter.

The service will close with 'Little Drops Of Water'. One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the expenses of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet, come forward and get a piece of paper.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday afternoon.

A bean supper will be held on Saturday evening in the church basement. Music will follow.

The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

Tonights sermon: What is hell? Come early and listen to our choir practice

For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.

Don’t let worry kill you off...let the church help !!

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Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Deep Throat ?

Now this is somethin ..... its nearly 3 foot .... phew !

At this rate, she could start a smuggling ring !

The only logical solution is that she could have been "deepthroating" a BALLOON! As these things that are made out of thin elastic material and are filled with air. Now no sooner, she has the end of the balloon in her mouth, she nips it with her teeth. She holds the cut end between her teeth, and breaths in the air from the balloon slowly..... that may be a solution .... If not, then with all due respect, what she needs is a stallion !

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